The Opposite of Butterfly Hunting: A powerful memoir of overcoming an eating disorder

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Evanna Lynch has long been viewed as a role model for people recovering from anorexia and the story of her casting as Luna Lovegood in the Harry Potter films has reached almost mythic proportions. Yet even after recovery, there remains a conflict at the very core of her being: a bitter struggle between the familiar, anesthetising pursuit of perfection, and the desire to fully and fearlessly embrace her creativity. In 2020, I ran out of all excuses not to write a book. It had been bubbling up inside me for years, not so much as the book I wanted to write, but the one I had to because otherwise other people were just going to keep writing it for me, abbreviated and sensationalised, softened and squashed into claustrophobic little corners of newspapers and never, ever told in its full integrity, the way I lived it. Bray, Allison (14 July 2009). "Evanna casts a spell as stars step out for Potter". Irish Independent. Independent News & Media . Retrieved 23 July 2010. In Half-Blood Prince, Luna is first seen on the Hogwarts Express. When some other female students invite Harry to join them in their compartment by saying that he does not have to sit with Luna and Neville, implying that they are undesirable companions, Harry witheringly says, "They're friends of mine." Luna observes in her bluntly honest way that people expect someone like Harry to have "cooler friends than us". Harry's response, indicative of the increased fondness he has developed for the pair, is that she and Neville are cool.

a b Stallings, Annie (18 February 2021). "Evanna Lynch wrote 'Harry Potter' fan fiction before getting cast as Luna Lovegood". Insider . Retrieved 5 March 2022.Granshaw, Lisa (13 February 2018). "7 Reasons Why Luna Lovegood Is Our Favorite Ravenclaw In Harry Potter". Syfy. Archived from the original on 13 February 2018 . Retrieved 1 August 2020. Delgado, Sara (15 July 2018). "interview | Evanna Lynch". Schön!. Archived from the original on 15 July 2018 . Retrieved 15 July 2018.

I remember, years ago, coming across an article by Evanna about how to approach one's self-image. She said something to the effect of it being worth it to deal with one's flaws not as an affirmation of self-loathing, but as a means to no longer have them rule your life. And as a pimply, stretch-marked, gangly teen, her words carried immense gravity and far-reaching power. That simple wisdom — something my young mind, ensnared by obsessive self-hating loops, could not yet rise up to see — has remained with me as a precious guiding light.

VO: What are some of your all-time favorite vegan beauty products to use?

I don’t want people’s food or attention or sympathy or help. I don’t expect people to like or love me, and I don’t waste my time looking for it. If they could only feel all the self-loathing coursing through me, the visceral self-disgust, the ardent wish to be rescued from the unrelentingly awful reality of being in this body, maybe they’d be selfish too. All I want is to quietly withdraw from life – which is too difficult, too painful, too much for me to get a handle on – and all I am asking is that they leave me to it, to the safe, comfortable anaesthetising routine I’ve developed that feels much easier than living fully. Is it so selfish to self-preserve? Winter, Stuart (6 June 2018). "Yulin dog meat festival: Harry Potter star in Plea to end pet slaughter". Daily Express. Archived from the original on 6 June 2018 . Retrieved 10 November 2019.